The Daily Explorer

February 28, 2010

All You Need is Love

Chiangmai, Thailand: February 2010

MOZZIE BYTE (Editor): A warm welcome back to all our Daily Explorer readers and greetings to those of you who are joining us for the first time. To our regulars, many thanks for viewing our online publication and for giving us your feedback. Over 30,000 visitors have been to see our site since our launch at the beginning of 2008.

For new readers, Ray has been living nomadically for over four years since he left England in November 2005. In that time, he has visited or lived in 16 countries and we have been publishing news and stories about his journey throughout that period. You can find all of these in our Previous Issues archive. At The Daily Explorer, we really want to create a great publication for you to enjoy, so please keep sending us your comments and suggestions as to how we can improve what we are doing. You can use the comments box on this site, or email Ray (, ‘Mozzie’ or any of our correspondents at

In our first issue of 2010, we catch up with Ray on his return to Chiangmai, northern Thailand. Nearly halfway into the fifth year of his nomadic living experiment, we shed light on some major changes that are taking place, including a rare and intimate update regarding his personal relationship with Nikki. We also find out more from Ray about an unusual workshop in East Sussex, known as “The Hoffman Process” which he attended recently. And we get a sneak preview of what lies ahead for our global nomad in the next few months.

In case you missed our last issue of 2009,  we caught up with Ray in London just before Christmas. Taking a three-month break from nomadic living, he was still recovering from an injury sustained in training for the New York Marathon. He completed the year by enjoying the festivities with his family for the first time in five years. You can read it now at: Goodbye to the Noughties

Above: At the end of last year, our traveller was enjoying his first Christmas in the UK for five years! From left to right are his niece Rebecca, nephew Daniel, sister-in-law Kitty, brother Paul and mum Hetty – “Having spent four and a half years travelling and living in a very transient way, I really appreciated the feeling of being in one place and feeling part of a loving family” said Ray. If you missed the last issue, you can read it now at: Goodbye to the Noughties

Freezing temperatures, snow and ice are very likely to occur in the United Kingdom during winter time, so with this in mind, I was curious to find out why Ray had chosen to make this particular stay in London his longest visit since he departed in November 2005. “Back in December, I sensed that something deep was going on with me and I was not sure what it was. I wanted to get to the bottom of it” was his rather cryptic answer. I asked him to elaborate a little. “At the end of November, Nikki and I agreed to bring our partnership to an end and she returned to Chiangmai. We had been sharing a home together there for several months last year whilst I was training and fundraising and it had given me the clearest sense so far of what it would be like to spend the rest of our lives together. Although many aspects of that were enjoyable, I think its fair to say that for both of us, it was not the ideal scenario that we had both hoped it would be” he told me. “Looking back, I can see I was very absorbed with my fundraising campaign and I think this resulted in me giving substantially less time and attention to Nikki – something which in itself was not necessarily a problem. But in the context of the bigger picture of our relationship, it was aggravating some tension arising from my inability to make a longe term commitment to Nikki and it felt like it really needed to be addressed” he explained.

Above: Ray’s brother Paul (left) and his wife Kitty (right) enjoy some ‘New York’ chocolates – a gift from Nikki, who left London to return to Chiangmai at the end of November, prompting Ray to start deeply questioning himself about his commitment to her

“We had many conversations about this whilst we were in New York and we both decided that our separation was inevitable. Rationally, I believed this was the best thing for both of us, but emotionally, it did not feel right to me. We were in tears when we spent our last evening together in south London and I simultaneously felt heartbroken and stuck in some sort of trap, which was frustrating for me. It is the second time in my life in the last seven years that I have allowed someone very important to leave me and I was troubled by this. I could not help wondering if I was still being affected (at an unconscious level) by the failure of my marriage in 2003, or by a belief system I was operating from that was preventing me from making these types of commitment, or something else entirely – maybe even something positive – that it was simply not the right path for me. But whatever it was, I genuinely wanted to face this head on before I continued on  my journey and really explore it deeply so that I could rest in some clarity around the issue. Someone once said to me “No matter where you go, you always take yourself with you” and I never fully enjoy my life when I feel like I am suffering under the weight of something like this” explained our traveller.

Above: It was over a year and a half ago that our global traveller notched up 1,000 consecutive days of travel, which was the catalyst for one of the most popular Daily Explorer publications, called Man of a Thousand Days – “A lot of people asked me at that time (as they still do!), how this whole journey started and they are curious about my nomadic way of life, especially as it is such a contrast to the conventional way I used to live” said Ray. “To help people understand and support others who may be on a similar path, I try to share everything I am experiencing. I meet many people who are looking at ways in which they can be more satisfied and are not aware of the many different options they might have in the way they choose to live. Of course, my way would not be right for everyone – for example, I do not have children. However, we all know it takes courage to make any kind of significant change in life and I have had more change than most to contend with since I started this voyage of discovery” explained Ray. “Hopefully I have learned something that is valuable to others in the process”

Below: A re-cap for Daily Explorer readers. In 1,570 nomadic days (about four years and three months), our global traveller has visited or lived in 16 countries (see red dots). The green dot depicts his recent trip to New York to run in the marathon, which helped raise over $15,000 for some really worthy causes. Every day of Ray’s journey so far has been captured in the various journals you can access in our Previous Issues

So how did Ray come across the Hoffman Process and what made him decide to sign up for the programme? “To answer your question Mozzie, I will refer to the phrase “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear” said Ray philosophically. “It was over 10 years ago that I first came into contact with the Hoffman Process, through a lovely man called Derek Edwards. He was a retired corporate executive who became a mentor to me, around the time I was learning how to run my own business. He was very warm, kind and considerate – something which I noticed as my experience of corporate people at the time was quite different, with most men I knew being quite ruthless and selfish in their ambitions. He mentioned once that he had done the Hoffman Process and told me a little bit about it. It sounded intriguing, but I wasn’t interested at that time” recalled Ray. “Fast forward five years to 2004 and now, I was getting divorced, my father had just died and my life was in tatters. A friend of mine invited me to an ‘information evening’ at Regents College to find out about the Hoffman Process. “Ah yes – I remember Derek mentioning that… I’ll go along” and I went to find out  more. Again, I was interested but felt the timing was all wrong so declined once more”.

I listened carefully as Ray continued to tell me about the path that led him to the Hoffman Process, quickly realising that a series of dots were being connected. “The next part is where it get’s really interesting Mozzie!” he added. “Some of our readers may remember that I went to Oakland in California last year (2009) to take part in a workshop called “Taking the mid-life, One Leap at a Time“. That weekend had a very deep impact on me” said Ray, “as I considered some aspects of myself (my negative beliefs and typical behaviour) that it was time to let go of. I started to realise that patterns of behaviour that may have been very useful in the past were now feeling quite restrictive. When the two-day course finished, I asked what else I could do to continue the inner work I had only just started. I was recommended to consider the Hoffman Process, and this time it really registered on me so I escalated it on my list of priorities. However, by the time I completed the marathon several months later, I was no longer so sure it was really necessary. On my return to London, I bumped into an old friend of mine called Ben Richardson, who I had met in 2004 whilst taking part in a fundraising project in India but had not seen for three or four years. We got together for dinner one evening and much to my surprise, he revealed to me that he had done the Hoffman Process and had quite a profound experience. That was the final straw and I registered for a place on the next available course, which was happening in January (2010), meaning that I would stay in England for Christmas which I was very happy about” explained Ray.

Above: Ray with ‘Enduro India’ fundraising colleague Ben Richardson, in Calicut (2004). Ben revealed to Ray that he had done the Hoffman Process during a conversation over dinner at the end of last year, which was the moment of commitment for our traveller – “Encounters like this often make me wonder how or why we get called to do certain things at particular times” said Ray. “Before I met Ben, I was deeply thinking about whether or not I should do the Hoffman Process now or sometime in the future. I had no idea he was going to tell me the things he did – how perfect and remarkable is that?” he mused

For readers who have not heard of it, the Hoffman Process is an eight-day intensive residential course of personal discovery and development. Held in a secluded country retreat in Seaford, on the south coast , the process allows you to examine and better understand your life and reveals why you behave the way you do. To date, more than 70,000 people around the world have used the tried and tested Hoffman techniques to improve their quality of life and restore their relationships with friends and family.

Having heard about the events that led to Ray registering for the course, I wanted to know more about what he expected to gain from attending and find out if it had been worthwhile. “Anyone I have spoken to about this has asked me the same thing so let me see if I can sum up my reasons for doing it” he said. “First, it seemed like perfect timing. I turn 50 this year and thought this would be a great way to start 2010 and the next decade, by reflecting deeply on the first half of my life. I thought gaining a deep understanding of who I have become and how I got to this point would be very enlightening” said our inner explorer. “Apart from the unrest I was experiencing regarding my relationship to commitment in general, and Nikki in particular, I also wanted to have a stronger sense of vision for my life” admitted Ray. “When I was a younger man, in my twenties and thirties, I always had such a clear vision of the things I wanted to do, whereas now I feel I don’t have the same type of ‘drivers’. Having said that, there are experiences and ways of being in the world that I am drawn to and I wanted to find out if I could put some form and shape to these ideas. Last but not least, I have been getting angry very easily in certain situations, often out of proportion to the event that stimulated me and this compulsive behaviour has (at times) been quite destructive in my life. I really wanted to understand what triggers this but more importantly, learn how to behave differently when these situations occur, and have these changes be permanent” explained Ray.

“People who know me well also know that I am fairly committed to my own personal development and to me, doing something like this was a fantastic opportunity to gain valuable self-knowledge and hopefully get a better idea of the best way I could be using my life in this decade” explained Ray. “Let me put this in perspective Mozzie – if someone had said to me back in 1999 that within ten years, I would have ended my marriage, sold my business, lost my father, become an actor, given up my permanent base in London, ran the New York marathon and have over 1,500 people around the world every month reading about my nomadic journey, I would definitely have told them they were crazy! But that is exactly what happened, and it has been an unbelievable gift, helping me to learn and grow as a person in so many different ways. It makes me believe there is no reason the next 10 years will be anything other than an exciting, life changing set of unexpected experiences. I wanted to be as ready as I could on the inside for the inevitable ups and downs and emotional twists and turns that accompany that kind of living”.

Above: A satellite picture of Great Britain on 7th January (left) reveals that the country has had its heaviest snowfalls for over 30 years – “Unfortunately for me, this took place the day before I was due to travel by train to the south coast for the Hoffman Process” said Ray. “Anyone who knows Britain will know that heavy snow usually brings the entire train network to a halt for days, so I became very concerned about how I would get there” he told me. Despite the appalling conditions, many trains were operating the following day (right) and Ray managed to complete his journey as planned

Below: Seaford, West Sussex. The end of the line from London, but just the beginning of an intensive, life changing eight-day event for our inner explorer

Above: The top of the mighty cliffs at Seaford Head allow a fantastic view of the south coast and the English Channel

Below: One has to be careful in the physical world to observe boundaries, especially when your safety is threatened. For Ray, taking part in the Hoffman Process was a great opportunity to explore the ‘edges’ of his inner world and find out where the boundaries of his comfort zone reside

Above: A few adventurers brave the freezing weather and make the most of the opportunity for downhill sledging on the cliffs

Below: Two of the more unusual sights in Seaford. Looking a bit like a flying saucer, aviators will recognise the Seaford VOR navigation beacon lodged on the top of the cliffs, used to guide aircraft flying overhead. And these colourful beach huts (right) will probably not be needed for a good few weeks!

Above: Florence House – the secluded venue for the eight-day Hoffman Process

Below: This sign hangs in the hallway at Florence House to greet all guests – “I could sense from this that something magical was going to happen here” said Ray

Above: The lounge ….

Below: …. and the dining room (left) – “The food was outstanding and worth the course fee on its own” joked our traveller. Ray shared a room during the course (right) – “I am very glad that the Hoffman staff organise shared rooms for everybody as each evening, there is so much you want to talk about with other people who are sharing the journey with you” said Ray. “We all supported each other when needed – a bit like a flock of geese use a triangle formation when flying long distances; each bird takes a turn at the front so that the others can rest in the leaders slipstream” explained Ray

I really wanted to know more about what actually went on during the eight days of the course so I asked Ray for more information. “There were quite a few visualisations and carefully guided processes, both in groups and individually, which were used to help us raise our awareness about our ‘negative patterns’. These are something that every single one of us has” explained Ray. “When we are young – too young to consciously remember – we adopt all of the negative traits exhibited by our parents in the belief that this will guarantee a supply of the love and nurturing that seems critical to our survival in our early life. This is an in-built, natural process which in real terms should become obsolete as we grow up. But the tragedy of this process is that those patterns continue to run sub-consciously well into our adult lives, resulting in a great deal of suffering for some people and difficulty in creating viable, truly authentic relationships for others. I discovered, through my pre-course work and these sessions on the course, most of my negative patterns and was then given a number of opportunities to do some physical work to loosen the hold they have had over me for most of my life” recalled Ray. “This might all sound a bit weird, or airy-fairy to some of our readers, but I can assure you that I experienced some very practical benefits from doing this work” added Ray.

I asked Ray to elaborate a little about some of these benefits. “Let me start with my relationship with Nikki. I will be as honest as I can about this; I now know why I had felt unable to make a commitment to her although it may be hard to explain. Unknown to me (consciously), I was perpetually experiencing fear in my life and it was distorting my behaviour in relationship to her, and other partners in the past for that matter. Fear of not being lovable, not being creative enough, not being good enough and a few more to boot. My strategy to counter this, for most of my adult life, has been to select partners that I believed would help me hide these inadequacies from the world and somehow compensate me for my shortcomings. You have to know that although I can tell you this now with clarity, this was never obvious to me before. Even though Nikki had been very loving and very supportive, I was always worried about being ‘exposed’ and was constantly in a state of waiting for the ‘perfect’ person to show up. You can imagine how excited I was on discovering this – for the first time, I could own my inadequacies for myself and stop the endless search for this imaginary person and fully enjoy and accept Nikki, without any need for her to be ‘more perfect’ than she already is” explained Ray. “I couldn’t wait to contact her when the course was finished”.

Above: The process of adopting the negative patterns of our parents is automatic and starts at a very early age, as it did for Ray (left, aged one year) – “Even though I am now ‘grown up’ and supposed to feel confident and in control of my life, in certain situations I have to admit that I generally feel like a small child on the inside i.e. frightened, lonely, challenged to learn when things are very difficult and sometimes petulant, belligerent, defensive and righteous. Doing the Hoffman work has helped me create a vision for myself that really excites me as I begin to really integrate my intellect, emotional self and my spirit. Maybe for the first time, I am learning what it is to really love unconditionally and be really forgiving – especially toward myself” said Ray

Below: Ray was very fortunate to have shared his remarkable journey through the Hoffman Process with five great teachers and 22 fellow explorers, all of whom were facing up to different issues of their own – “It is very inspiring to know that humanity is working on itself to change some of the negative conditions which pervade modern society, through transforming individuals, one at a time. The world could be a truly amazing place if every single human being could go through this kind of experience” said Ray (fourth from right). “I have always been interested in being free, but until recently had equated this to mean the freedom to express myself in whatever way I wish, or to choose my work, friends, politics, religion and where I live. Based on recent experience, my notion of freedom has expanded somewhat. At its most vital level, it means the freedom to be; to be the beautiful, conscious person you are. It is to be inwardly free, not restricted or bound by any mental or emotional limitation, not subject to any emotional reactivity, such that you always feel relaxed, at peace, and open in each and every moment” he told me

Having spent over an hour with Ray on the phone to hear about his experiences, I must admit I was struck by his openness and honesty and was curious to know if we were seeing a ‘new’ Ray emerging. “In some ways, Mozzie and in others, I am the same as I have always been” he told me. “Yes, I have learned a huge amount about myself, and my parents for that matter, and yes, I can imagine ways of being that I had not really considered before. I feel like I have let go of the (mainly) self-critical, inner dialogue with myself which has worn down my sense of optimism and creativity over the last few years. But now the course is over, I think the real process starts now and it will last for the rest of my life as I attempt to put into practise on a daily basis what I have learnt. At least I have some great mental tools that will support me, as well as a very clear sense that my true spiritual self is now directing my life, relieving me from a long overdue and inappropriate dependence on my intellect to make all the big decisions.  This never really worked for me and I do not feel I need to be so ‘certain’ any longer when it comes to making choices that feel instinctively right. Actually, I think this clarity and peace of mind I have found is what my four years of wandering around the world has been all about – what a relief!” he laughed.

Above: Someone else who Ray couldn’t wait to see after the Hoffman Process was his mum, Hetty (left) so he drove to her home a few days afterwards – “Doing this work has made me realise just how much I have always been loved and encouraged by her; this is something I consider to be nothing short of miraculous, given she was not nurtured in that way by her own parents and grew up in the aftermath of the Second World War in very adverse and incredibly poor conditions” he told me. “I also realised I knew very little about her childhood – I hate to admit I didn’t even know her father’s name! I was able to acknowledge this to her and it sparked off a wonderful conversation in which she told me stories from that part of her life. Our relationship was already strong, and now (for me) it feels like I have a new and deeper level of appreciation for her. Unfortunately, as I started to drive back to London, I was still re-living the excitement of our encounter and failed to notice a temporary speed limit in operation on the motorway! I managed to get photographed doing 50 miles per hour in a 40 mile per hour zone (right) which will mean an expensive penalty fine. Still, it was worth every single penny to see the joy on her face when we met and tell her how great she is” said our traveller 

With the Hoffman Process complete, our traveller was once again ready to depart from the UK and continue his global nomadic adventure. “I am very keen to get back to Chiangmai and have a few conversations with Nikki about what I have experienced here. I believe that a whole new possibility for the kind of committed relationship she always spoke of now exists for me too and I feel genuinely able and ready to go forward. We have had a couple of conversations on the phone and I sense she is a bit apprehensive about the general idea. So I want to find out where she is at and see if there is a way we could be together. Whatever happens, she is a great person and worthy of all the love and support I can give her, whether as a partner or a friend” added Ray.

During his last couple of days in England, there was time for one last round of socialising which Ray took full advantage of. “One of my new friends from the Hoffman course, a Spanish lady called Amaia, is an operatic singer and I discovered that she was performing in a lunchtime recital in an old church just off Fleet Street” said Ray. “I heard that a few of the people from our group might be going there and realised it would probably be the last chance I would get to see them for quite a long time. On the day, Amaia was absolutely superb and I sincerely hope her incredible talent gets discovered by the right people” said Ray. “I also discovered that Matt Campbell, my running coach from Chiangmai, was over in England during February to see his family. At the last-minute, I managed to organise a trip down to Brighton for a couple of hours to catch up with him too, which was a real bonus” added our traveller.

Above: The Old Bailey in London reminds our traveller how beautiful the city is (left) and it was only a stone’s throw away from the church where Ray attended the lunchtime recital of his Spanish singing friend Amaia (right, second from left). Also in the photograph are Kalai (left) and Sara (right) who Ray also met during the Hoffman Process

After his departure, my next contact with Ray was shortly after his return to Chiangmai a few days ago. I was very keen to find out what happened as a result of his conversations with Nikki and get some idea of his plans for the next few months. “First of all Mozzie, I have started making arrangements to hand over £3,500 (just over $5,000) to the Elephant Nature Park Foundation and I will definitely be telling Daily Explorer readers more about this in the next issue. The money is going to be used to help construct a water system for a new shelter at the park so that the elephants have access to water at night-time when they cannot get access to the river. I am aiming to visit the park again in the next few days to complete everything” he told me. “That leaves just the Namaste Childrens House orphanage in Nepal, who will also receive a similar donation from the “Calling All Angels“ fund. My intention is to return to Nepal in late March or early April to procure the things which are most worthwhile. I am hoping to do the Everest Base Camp trek whilst I am there as the weather at that time of year will be just right. If any Daily Explorer readers are interested in joining me for 2-3 weeks to do the trek, please let me know” added our traveller.

I asked Ray if there was any update on discussions about him getting involved in the business world this year. “Apart from coaching a small number of clients, I have done very little work in the last five years and a part of me is missing the excitement and the challenge of it. When I was in London, I spent four days with a business training organisation and was really impressed with the work they do. As they present some of their courses in Asia, I am exploring the possibility of joining their team over here and becoming one of their trainers. I have a couple of conversations planned in the next few days and hope to update everyone in time for the next issue. If it doesn’t materialise, I will most likely head to India as I have been keen to travel there for some time” he told me.

Above: Now that he is back in Chiangmai, our marathon runner is getting back into tip-top shape and has started running again (left) – “It’s amazing how quickly you lose your fitness” said Ray. “A month after the marathon and I felt like a couch potato; it was so cold in London, I was not in the least bit motivated to go outside and run, so I didn’t! And because the western diet is so much more stodgy than typical Asian food (right), I have gained a few unwanted pounds which I am now going to get rid of” said our health conscious traveller. Any more marathons for Ray? – “Unlikely in the next year or two Mozzie; the training commitment is too intense and I think I prefer to just run for my own pleasure and sense of well-being for now” he said

Below: Flashback to December 2009: Ray made the first donation from the “Calling All Angels“ fund to World Cancer Research in London. You can read more about this in our last issue (Goodbye to the Noughties). Both the Elephant Nature Park Foundation and the Namaste Childrens House orphanage should receive their funding in the next few weeks

Above: Ray has already met with Lek (left) in Chiangmai in the last few days to finalise arrangements for making the donation to her Elephant Nature Park Foundation. He is also working on a few creative ideas for a handover ceremony and agreed to let a local artist dress him in body paint for some publicity photographs (right)

Below: The wonderful children of the Namaste Childrens House orphanage in Nepal, who sent Ray this inspiring photograph just before the marathon last year, will soon receive their funding from the “Calling All Angels“ campaign

Finally, you may be pleased to know that even though I sensed he was being slightly evasive, I did eventually hear from Ray about what had happened as a result of his conversations with Nikki. “The story does not have a classical happy ending, at least not for now” said Ray. “After many conversations, many tears and a lot of kindness and understanding, I am sad to say that we are no longer going to remain together as a couple. As you can imagine, having reached a point of clarity during the Hoffman Process that I was capable, ready and willing to enter into a long-term commitment in my relationship with Nikki, I was very excited to let her know, and I imagined (having waited four years) that she would be very pleased to hear this from me!” he told me. “The reality was different. After one previous separation, and over two months apart since she left England, Nikki let me know that she had thought long and hard about her future and had really experienced letting go of the past. She has a different vision for herself going forward and a partnership with me is not really a part of it” said Ray.

I asked Ray if this was hard for him to accept. “I listened carefully to her and I really understand where she is at. Without going into detail, her needs make sense to me and I definitely do not blame her for the way she feels. Any relationship of substance is built on truth, integrity and communication – this is her truth and I respect it, although the impact of hearing it directly from her was upsetting for me. Life is teaching me that loving someone unconditionally includes having to really understand what they need – not only what I want or need –  and because of this, I have found it easier than I thought I would to accept this new reality. I feel sad about the loss of a great relationship, or at least the closure of a memorable chapter of my life. But even if we had seen a way of continuing our partnership, our individual visions for ourselves are so different, it is hard to imagine on a practical level how it would have been sustainable. On reflection, I am sure this is probably meant to be happening.

Did Ray think that he and Nikki would remain friends? “Of course. I have a very good view of what she desires and needs next in her life and fully intend to love and support her, although it will be as a close friend rather than a romantic partner. With some lessons in life, there is sometimes an irony that is bitter-sweet. It took me five years to reach a point of clarity and deeper truth about my vision for our relationship, but timing is everything and our needs no longer coincide! Strangely, I feel quite optimistic despite all of this. When I look back, I can see I have been changed more by some of the great losses in my life than at any other time and I think I will see this period (in future) as one of my defining moments. At the very least, I have done some very valuable work for myself that I needed to do and when the time is right, I am sure the right person will show up” said our optimistic traveller.

Above: After nearly five years, Ray and Nikki (seen here in Ko Samui, Thailand in 2006) are no longer going to remain together as a couple – “I am very grateful for the experiences that we have shared. She appeared in my life at a time of great change for me, and has lovingly supported me during my nomadic years. She is a very special human being and I wish her great happiness and success as she pursues her dreams” said Ray

Below: Although the people at the Hoffman Institute do not teach or necessarily recommend it, Ray has chosen to wear his rose-tinted spectacles, despite everything that has been going on for him! – “My circumstances continuously change and no doubt they will continue to be a mixed bag” said Ray, “but as long as I have love in my heart, I believe I can get through anything!”

Editors Note: Our thanks to Ray for giving us such a great insight into his inner life for our opening issue of 2010. At The Daily Explorer, we really want to create a great publication for you to enjoy, so please keep sending us your comments and suggestions as to how we can improve what we are doing. You can use the comments box on this site, or email Ray (, ‘Mozzie’ or any of our correspondents at Our next issue should be online in the next few weeks. We will keep you posted!




  1. What a lovely article Ray – and I loved the pictures of the snow.

    Comment by susy hogarth — February 28, 2010 @ 7:07 pm

  2. Hi Ray

    So interesting to read your news and of course, it is sad that you and Nikki are no longer a formal couple. I know your hearts are full of love for each other and it is wonderful that you are remaining the best of friends.

    You have both been an inspiration to Regina and me over the years and never more so than now.

    Wish I could be with you for the Everest trek but CMN calls me as ever!

    Comment by Nic — March 1, 2010 @ 3:58 am

  3. Wow Ray, you never cease to amaze me. What an inspiration you are. I so admire your willingness to put yourself right out there in such a vulnerable but powerful learning place with every step of your life. You really are a true explorer. Fantastic, thank you!

    Comment by Brigitte — March 1, 2010 @ 7:36 am

  4. Hi Ray

    I was so moved by this latest edition. I had tears in my eyes reading about your visit with Nikki and looking at those pictures of you from 2006. You are such a courageous man. I hope that many people are touched and inspired by your journey and openness to life’s lessons, pains and joys. And that photo of you sitting in a sunken position on the bench looking like the spitting image of Mahatma Gandhi – was that intentional or are you already elevated to that level?!

    Much love and hope to see you sooner rather than later. Get over here!

    Michael Banks from Mill Valley,SF,CA

    Comment by Michael Banks — March 1, 2010 @ 8:31 am

  5. Have a heart weighed with tears because of the sad end to your love story with Nikki and am touched deeply by your open description of your journey since the Hoffman process. Am so happy too that you are following your spiritual path, unconventional though it may seem to those who don’t understand you so well. Salute you and love you as always. xxx

    Comment by Charlie — March 1, 2010 @ 8:30 pm

  6. Hey Ray,
    As usual, your blog is an inspiration and an insight (and not just into you!). I know you’ve been on quite a journey. Since I met you at the relative beginning of it, it’s been a joy to watch you follow your path, with all of its up and downs. And it’s also nice to know that there are other people who choose alternative lifestyles and that it works for them. It’s always comforting to know that there are kindred spirits out there. Mike has been going through some difficult times recently and reading your blog and the Hoffman Process website really gave him some food for thought. So thanks!
    I was of course deeply saddened to hear about you and Nikki, but I also understand the situation and know that you two will continue to be great friends and love and support each other. It’s unfortunate that in the process of finding yourself, you lost her, but then again, I find that life always has a way of working things out for the best. Even if that means going through some pain along the way. We never know what life holds for us and there are many wonderful, joyful surprises in store. And I have no doubts that someone as kind, generous and loving as you will find those things in someone else. Just keep travelling your path and it will intersect sooner or later!
    Your blog also really inspires me to write more, and one day I might actually stop procrastinating and do it! 😀 In the meantime, I’ll keep reading yours!
    Big hugs and lotsa love,

    Comment by Karla — March 2, 2010 @ 1:33 am

  7. Dear Ray,
    How wonderful to hear about how your journey continues. You are truly a life artist and a moving and humbling inspiration to many, including me. It was such a pleasure to see you at the end of last year and now to hear how things are for you after the Hoffman. It takes a great man to honour his truth and be willing to be with himself in all that he is. It is wonderful to hear how your greatness, that has truly existed for all those that have known you, now exists so brightly for you. Wishing you love in the next steps on your journey, which can only be miraculous and perfect.
    Much Love

    Comment by Elizabeth Lovius — March 2, 2010 @ 2:12 pm

  8. Hi Ray. It’s beautiful what you write and I can see it’s coming from your heart. It inspires me to look inside of myself and explore my vulnerabilities and obstacles. I’ll be going back to Chiang Mai next week, after difficult but interesting months in the DR-Congo. Hopefully we meet someday again in Chiang Mai. Thanks for letting me reflect about myself.


    Comment by Gaston — April 12, 2010 @ 11:35 am

  9. I was very moved to read your honest description of the Hoffman process as well as your new aspirations to go forward… BOTH of you… I felt sad seeing that happy photo taken of you both giggling uncontrollably… (by the paparazzi here) ahhh… life moves on… so, Ray… GOOD LUCK and hope to see you soon either in Chiang Mai or here in the south. We’ll be in CM during June… It’s almost ‘Songkran’ and we’re preparing the Jeep with buckets of water to throw on every unsuspecting voyeur… remembering the time we ALL went together! It was such fun… keep in touch and I hope we meet again soon…

    Love as always, Cream Cheese X

    Comment by Susie Moberly — April 12, 2010 @ 11:39 am

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